The Legendary CriswellThough the title conjures a leitmotif of sutures and open wounds, I’d like to share an observation in local art scene group dynamics. The Legendary Criswell predicts that “the future is where you and I will spend the rest of our lives whether we like it or not.” And with that caveat, I predict that 2007 will be the year of Closings. Don’t be a part of the booboisie, showing up at 8 p.m. on Opening Night! Eegads, the horror of uncovering your social ineptitude when you realize that the Closing Night is so much more important and jubilant. There’s a sense of urgency and inaccessibility at a Closing Party because, hey, that art gets deconstructed tomorrow and this is your last chance to see it! But at the Opening Night, pffffft. Awe, rasberries. Those objects d’art will be there collecting dust bunnies for almost a whole month.

We here at Emvergeoning Headquarters pride ourselves in observing and documenting the latest patterns in art weather fluffery. So, we can’t stress this enough people. Do your fellow artists a flippin’ flavor and snub the art openings, for closure is what we all seek.

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